Damn its hot in Kelowna

Not really knowing the geography of the various place names for which I have projects in yet, when told I needed to attend a meeting in Vernon I just meekly said ok ! So where is that then ?

Arriving at Vancouver airport as opposed to the number 98B bus stop I gathered quickly is was not too close then !

A half hour plane ride over some pretty amazing views later we landed at Kelowna airport (all ten of us in the plane) and stepped off onto the tarmac into blistering sunshine.

The interior it seems enjoys a more continental climate than the coastal cool of Vancouver and I for one was quickly cooking in the 37 degrees of heat !! The region is known for its vineyards and lakes and the second stop on our tour was to a place called Tuscany which I can imagine doesn't look unlike the real one (apart from the huge pick up trucks and wide roads)

I must come back here soon and do some vineyard touring ! Lets hope though it doesn't reach 43C as it did last week.

The Grouse Grind

Having got up so early to watch the footy I was determined to make use of the beatiful summers day on offer now that a bit of sun had finally managed to break through the clouds of lower mainland Bristish Columbia !

Stocking up with two 1L bottles of water and a banana I decided that today would as good a day as any to take the famous Grouse Grind on the chin.

Grouse mountain over looks all of Vancouver forming the southern most tip of the coastal mountains that frame the north shore. Rising to a peak elevation of 1250m within less than a mile of the seafront you can imagine how good they look at all times from any where within the city. The last of the snow is only just disappearing now on the very tips of the peaks from last winter.

The infamous 'Grind' is a forest trail that leads directly up the face of the slope hidden within the trees and below the cable car that takes all the lightweights up to the top !

Now when I say directly up....... I mean it ! No meandering trail here ! The Grind is a series of steps formed into the mountain slope by either a combination of bare natural rock or tree roots laid across the path to give footing.

A vertical rise 0f 893m is made over a path length of 2900m. You got it ! Do your sums ! Thats a one in three slope ! Think more of it like doing a staircase in your house that has 5000 vertical steps over a distance of 3 Kilometres !

Its a killer ! (Quite literally - some poor old boy did just that last Sunday)

Its hard to describe the madness of it all particularly with signs every where warning that not only do people suffer very serious illness from doing the trail but that Bears and cougars had been seen recently within the vicinity.

Feeling pretty damned ill at the top (not sure my breakfast of lager and a banana helped) and wet to the core with sweat I headed off to grab a burger and chocy bar to stave off passing out ! Perhaps next time I will take more seriously every ones advise that the grind really is quite tuff !

My time was I think a respectable one hour and twenty minutes !

The record unbelievably is something crazy like 27 minutes ! The boy who did that must have lungs the size of a zeppelin, legs like tree trunks, the heart of race horse and the brains of blind drunk village idiot ! Who the hell tries to run up this thing wants their bumps feeling !

www.grousemountain.com

England 1 - Ecuador 0 - Vindaloo Nah Nah !

Walking through the doors of 'The Library Public House' this morning at seven am any vestige of hope I had held onto that I would abstain from the drink at such an ungodly hour was swiftly blown away by an atmosphere the Queen herself would be proud of in this far dominion of the empire !

Hundreds of brits all decked out in red and white shirts with flags around shoulders crammed into any space left that could be found and were instantly barraged with a medley of patriotic footy anthems including the old favourites of 'Vindaloo Nah Nah' 'World in motion' and Three Lions'. Bearing in mind it is theoretically illegal out here to be serving booze at such an hour you would think the landlord would keep a slightly lower profile than to stand on the bar waving a flag of St George with his mate banging two very large pots together right behing him ! Good luck to any mountie who thinks he has the bottle to stand in front of this mob and say there will be no more lager today lads !

Alternating between versus of Jerusalem and chants of 'Rooney - Rooney - Rooney' the mob were rewarded with a Beckam goal that sent the gaff into raptures ! All good fun and patriotic stuff ! I had no idea there were this many English in Vancouver ! All back next Saturday then for Portugal ! Please let this one be midday at least !

Mid Summers Night at Stigs Dump

Not quite mid summers night but the nearest Saturday night I was paying attention to dates. I thought you may wish to share my view on this fine evening from Stigs temporary dump. I don't think the view from the new gaff on the North Shore will be quite so special but the trade off is it will be a damn site less noisy ! I am beginning to think every ambulance or fire truck driver in town takes great pleasure whizzing past my window at all times of the night with full sirens blaring !



Oh yeah and this is the infamous pool and hot tub that keeps the party going till the wee hours on such beautiful nights !

Twilight volleyball and the company pic nic

Not now sitting on the 6:07 from Victoria or the 6:15 from London Bridge with all the other sardines in the can that is the Southern train service to Brighton you may ask what I now do with all the spare hours I have each evening given that it takes me all of twenty minutes to walk home across town.

Well Wednesday evenings are spent down on English Bay beach playing Volley ball with the odd sneaky Sleeman ale (drunk in the obligatory Starbucks cup as booze in not officially allowed on public beaches). The sun presently stays out until around ten which provides ample time to have a few games.

The standard can probably only be best described as 'Sociable'. The quantity of fresh air shots would make Anderson look good if he played on our team !

Further promoting the work life balance within my new firm today saw a picnic hosted by the partners in a very sunny and warm secluded spot within the forests of Stanley Park. With further volleyball providing the exercise any good work done was swiftly undone diving into an array of BBQ meats and snacks laid out for feasting on ! mmm mmm !

The Stanley Cup Final

Whilst the rest of the world has no doubt been going banana's watching two teams of eleven soft tarts run around various fields in Germany chasing a blown up pigs bladder (playing what is refered to out here as 'Soccer') the locals have been going proper nuts watching a different sport.

The Stanley Cup series final this year pitched the Edmonton Oilers against the old enemy of america in the guise this year of the Carolina Hurricanes. This of course rallied all true Canadians to their nearest bar where to chant 'lets go Oilers' in support of their nation in what is regarded their sport !

The fact that ice would last all of two two minutes in the sweaty heat of tropical Carolina further upsets the purists here who find it distasteful that teams are allowed to exist in such hotspots as LA, Dallas and Pheonix !

Choosing the Library Public House as our venue, myself and a gang of fellow brits piled in to the mosh of people whooping and hollaring at every bone crunching smash of bodies against the boards and punch up. The brutality and speed of the game was unbelievable and all of us found it easy to join in with the screaming as every Carolina player got smashed up in what would have had a premiership footballer looking for the ambulance !

'Lets Go Oilers'

Unfortunately the Oilers lost the series decider game seven 3-1 but a grand time was had by all. I will have to get over to a Canucks game next season.

It's official ! Scotland is cheap !

Just in case you needed official proof for what we have all know for years please refer to the attached currency exchange board shown opposite.

Yes indeed, The porridge jockies are cheap !

Depressed from years of eating a diet of deep fried anything they can lay their hands on whilst slurping peat water that could fire a cannon, unfortunately their currency has begun to fail them.

Hence you actually get more of the funny looking stuff for your Canadian dollar to spend on deep fried mars bars and iron brew when you get off the plane in bonny Scotland than you do on roast beef and bitter in England !

Not sure the Canadian geography teachers are too special ?

Any way Fonters as you can see - no bullshit, but how you ever fell for Jimbo being shot by Shazza ??

Granville Island

Having heard a rumour there were some pretty special seafood purchases to be made at the public market on Granville Island and waking up with a wee bad head from the remnants of Doogies visit I headed out on another Sunday stroll.

Walking the full length of Robson and Denmen streets dow to English bay I jumped on a water bus across to Kitsilano beach and Varnier park.

Passing a dozen very drunk and lairy aussies all who looked as though they had wet themselves (probably laughing at their footballing skills against Brazil) I continued along the water front to the market.

Not to be dissapointed I managed to find a stall selling a pretty special salmon in a bun number for next to nothing. Mom of course would have waded straight into the lobster, crabs legs or scallops perhaps. No doubt with corresponding chilled chardonnay in one of the many seafood restaurants lined up facing False creek.

Don't worry mom they will still be open when we get you over.

Mig, I scoped out a couple of sailing charter firms (assuming you still like to sail after doing the Bermuda to Annapolis this weekend)

Lard Snack Visitor 3 - M' Lord Fonters !

Whats the best way to celebrate the Friday 5 o'clock whistle after a hard week in a Canadian office !

By meeting a mate from blighty for a couple of sccops of course ! Fresh from the airport M' lord Doogie timed his arrival perfectly for us to follow the Friday exodus into downtown Vancouver and embark upon what has become the standard ritual applied to UK visitors !

Namely to ram in as many bars and lard snack varieties as possible before a jet lag induced coma kicks in around ten pm. This weeks success story included 'smiley o'niells', the 'Yaletown Brewhouse', bbq chicken wings and smokies !!

Leaving Doogie to walk home from Yaletown past his old haunts from yester year when he lived out here (and spent every day working in a shoe box called tie rack) the plan was to reconvene bright and early for an ascent up Grouse Mountain.

Waking up to the classic early Vancouver overcast low cloud skyline our plans were switly revamped into something a little more ................well breakfast based !

Who says mens heads are ruled by their stomachs ! Well Fonters' certainly is ! Feeling suitably fuelled up and with the weather improving slightly we headed over to the North shore where my new gaff as of the beginning of July will be.

The journey is made across on the Vancouver sea bus whick links the north shore to downtown Vancouver every fifteen minutes. The views as you cross are pretty damn spectacular of Stanley park and the Lions gate bridge ! Somewhat better than you get on the northern line underneath Camden and euston any way !

Having shown Doogie the new pad we wandered into Lonsdale Quay and market which forms the sea bus terminal on the north shore. With Doogies mobile beginning to bleep into action we swiftly realised that Italy v USA had begun and that Lady Fonters was at home on her own watching the game. Deciding it was possibly time to rest our legs Fonters' ability to search out a certain favourite beer of his surpassed even my expectations !

Two minutes later and (me) armed with beer in hand we saw the last hour of a game that can only be described as having Gaz as referee ! It's my party don't you know seemed to be the approach taken !

I have a feelin the 'Chesire Cheese' pub and grill may become a bit of a local of mine when I get over to the North Shore !!

Thanks for bringing my last bag over Doogs and see you in four weeks buddy ! Lets hope the weather plays ball next time and we can do the Grouse Grind ! (oh yeah and check out the next blog re Scottish money - I wasn't bullshitting you mate)

Any one for cricket ?

Walking round Stanley park today I happened across a pretty damn good game of cricket in what has to be one of the most stunning settings you would ever likely be blessed to throw your arm over in front of.

The walk kinda took me by surprise - setting off thinking it would be a relaxing hour or so, I crawled back in five hours later having passed three beaches, lions gate bridge, two cricket squares, numerous totem poles, a noon day gun, a royal yacht club, an aquarium, three sea otters, tons of geese, two cruise liners, a hundred roller bladers, two hundred cyclists and ooops a pub.

Well ok thats perhaps why it took five hours ! Home to watch game three of the Stanley cup I think and rest the legs.

My new desk in Pemberton

I just thought I would share with you a picture of me at my new desk in Pemberton !

You may recal one of my jobs is managing the install of some new kit into three hospitals along the corridor up into the mountains that is known as the Sea to Sky highway. Well the furthest one away is about another forty minutes past Whistler in one very very sleepy village called Pemberton and as you can see it is pretty stunning.

This is the view from the 'municipal hall' garden which is actually better described as a small wood white house with picket fences that looks straight out of 'little house on the prairie'. The locals have two speeds - dead slow and stop. The building control officer who I had come to see for a permit has a slower speed - stoned ! My superintendent with me said after he suspected he was an old US draft dodger from the sixties. Apparently they are all over the interior.

A cool, wierd, extremely picturesque and amusing day I have not had for a while.

You hear it said loads that Canada feels like the UK twenty years ago ! For Pemberton make that sixty ! The second picture shows what Whistler looks like in the summer snowless !

Sugar and Sugar

Never one to miss a free 'feed and snifter' Bobby and I headed out this evening to a freebie fund raising function, for what and whom I have no idea (I think it was for mountain bike trails but who knows....)

And what a grand bash it was too ! Scandalously filling our mitts with vodka cocktails and salmon canapees from a bar tender who clearly saw through me at least as a free loading gate crasher, we wandered off to stand by the grand piano and watch the bizarrest scene ever.

Next thing you know two bendy canadian kids proceed to perform stunts and tricks mounted on a unicycle and bmx respectively within a postage stamp space of floorspace ringed by plush dresses and suits, all politely whooping their approval ?

Personally I was waiting for one of them to crash horribly, break a load of bones and scream out in agony before I gave it the big whooping and hollaring !

Big thanks though to bob's boss and firm for pumping the tickets in our direction ! All very sex and the city ! ??????

Lard snack visitor 2 - Hackers

Fresh off the heels of Scooper Dooper and ready to hit the nacho trail (where to pile on a few calories) the king of snooze Mr Hackland arrived this last Monday eve to say hey to stig in the big smoke. After working out that the BA crew hotel can actually be seen from my desk, all of one block across Burrard street, John and I met up to catch the last of the sun and keep up our previous Canadian tradition of only scooping beers on the waterfront near a float plane jetty.

So setting up base camp at the 'mill cafe' and ignoring the advice of our waitress we ordered said nachos in addition to main meals each. In hindsight probably not the best idea. We all know Jon is not the best at staying awake at the best of times............but add in a ten hour flight, jetlag AND around 30000000 calories and you could feel a little sympathy for the boy !

Not me !!!!! Come on then lad we're off to 'Smiley oNiells' !!!

Stigs temporary dump - Yaletown

If you were wondering what Stigs new Dump actually looked like........... well here is the stop gap dump!

The space between the party central towers of Brava on the corner of Seymour and Davie is a swimming pool with outside patio zone that regularly has bbq parties centred around the hot tub till the wee hours ! Do I get involved ? Nah.......... I just throw my rubbish out the window of the ninth floor (generally chicken wings and beer cans) while watching the hockey !

I'm getting into this Canadian living now !