Lads Wilderness Weekend (Part III) Hydro Bronc !

After a second nights sound sleep, where again the only real interuption far from from being iquisitive bears looking for midnight snacks was Russels flatulent arse, we fried up the last of our bacon and eggs and packed up ready for our journey home via Whistler.

Now what does a gang of six blokes do in a ski resort when the temperature is 30C and there is no snow, I hear you ask ?

Its dead obvious isn't it ??

No ???

Well you rock up to a glacial run off river, throw on a wetsuit and harness and then strap yourself into a twelve foot inflatable ball where you then perform a version of the human bowling ball in white water ! Except that there are no pegs but four other like minded idiots who have signed up to do the same thing !

Of course its obvious ! yeah right oh !

This act of sheer stupidity is known locally as the sport of Hydro Bronc ! It reminded me of the old Gladiators game on tv if you recall. The only difference being that here there was a very REAL possibility of dying in the form of drowning and unfortunately Ulrika ka ka ka was not on the river bank in a swim suit ready to perform mouth to mouth on any unfortunate contestant who had the inconsideration of swallowing five gallons of ice water !

So having signed five waivers each that confirmed our relatives would not sue the peddlers of this madness in the event of our death, Russ, Gary, Neil and I ventured forward and strapped in for our twenty minutes of fun.

To a cheer from the ammased (and bewildered) crowd lined up on the bridge above, off we went in our own personal washing machines down the icy flows of river water bouncing off each other and rocks as we went !

A more bizarre fifteen minutes I don't think I have ever spent ??? Any chance we thought we may have had controlling these contraptions was swiftly dispelled as we just did what ever the damn thing wanted to do with us.


Getting out at the far end actually feeling like I had just done a quick cylcle in my hotpoint along with some dirty shirts I was happy to reconvene with the other contestants from 'its a whistler water knockout' for a quick Corona on the patio of the Longhorn Saloon and compare notes !

My Conclusion ?

I have been to Whistler twice now in the summer and nearly died both times doing things that were clearly designed by stoned locals that should only be performed by teenagers who have the same number of brain cells as fingers !

Next time I go it will be as far as the longhorn Saloon where the scariest task I will perform will be to eat a platter of nachos on my own !