Arriving at Vancouver airport an hour ahead of my chauffeur John and feeling somewhat knackered already from the combined effort of a days work tagged onto the end of our midweek beer session the previous evening, I was to find out my lucky streak had run cold and that I would be a resident of 35C for the next 9 hours on BA 086.
No first class for stig this trip !
Thanks for your efforts John - but next time can you off load all the German Saga holiday makers stright off the cruise liners please !
Enjoying immensely of course the pleasures of World Traveller (non plus) I arrived at terminal 1 Friday morning looking and feeling obviously like a million bucks. So much so that when I bumped into Matt and Angie lounging on a bench with my shoes on the floor beside me, Matt felt compelled to comment that I looked like Tom Hanks in "The Terminal' - only worse ! Cheers buddy ! A pretty accurate sumation though I suspect !
My only recourse is to state that I still didn't look as dodgy at this Cockney Taff does in a skirt made of some dodgy grandma curtains !
Transfering chauffeurs to Hanksy and Gabby upon arrival at a glorious (wet, cold and grim) Aberdeen, a quick transfer was made via the beautiful (industrial estate) of Altens and the Stig cheapskate Thistle Hotel and onto the more regal plushness of Ardoe House.
Driving via most of Royal Deeside (as I was navigating from the back seat in the dark) we eventualy came upon our destination with a little help from the local Sainbury's home delivery van driver that got interorgated and stopped form making his weekly deliveries of haggis, shortbread and whisky !
Upon arrival, far from falling asleep with extreme fatigue I got a welcome second wind when bumping into the advance party of wedding guest revellers who had ammased already at the residents bar, many of whom I had not seen in several months.
Some I had never seen at at all ! Welcome to the world Miss Madeliene Stone ! Can you have a word with your old boy by the way and tell him you wear the skirts - not him !
Not daring to calculate how many Canadian dollars each I was paying for a pint of Tennants I took the view I should be grateful proper pints were being served at least and cracked on.
Several reunions and whiskeys later the bride (who looked amazing, happy and very cool calm and collected) departed to prepare for the next day as did I and the Andersons back into Aberdeen.
The plan was to reconvene on the golf course nice and early for a quick nine holes and clear our heads. Nice plan. Which of course went horribly wrong when Gaz forgot to pick me up from Altens en route the next morning.
That I had got the midnight munchies also became immediateley apparent as I woke to a bedside table armed with two empty pot noodle pots and a litre of Irn Bru ! As they say - when in Rome ! You jocks really know how to eat well I must admit !
The Wedding that afternoon was grand - again getting the chance to chat with long since seen friends from Brighton days who now reside in the swingers belt of Goddyford !
Siabhan and Craig looked great as did the massed ranks of family and friends. I have never seen Siobhan smiling so much as she walked down the aisle. Of course it was a smile born of being so happy to be marrying Craig and not a snigger at Gaz and Johnplaying the pipes and drums as escort for her short walk to the chapel !
Cue then a true traditional highland bash of dancing drinking and singing ! As usual my attempts at following the steps of the gay gordon were truly awful with many a girl complaining that I was stamping all over their toes.
Perhaps this may have been in part down to the many 'rusty nails' I had formed using the array of minatures kindly placed on every table !
One benefit however of the haziness produced by mixing Glenfiddich and Drambuie is that I for one (sorry for the pun boys) found the best men's speech really quite amusing ! Delivered in a comedy version format of 'Mastermind' I was still happy my efforts at trecking half across the world were mentioned by the Groom.
Several renditions of some favourite auld songs later that included the first Anderson - Hackland pipe and drum set that has long since been spoken of in the Moose and Stag we set in for the long haul 'night cap' in the residents bar !
Having no idea what time zone my body thought it was in a late night snack of pies (liberated by Gaz out the kitchen) just before bed was a welcome taster of home.
As was a sunday roast of lamb and tatties with mint sauce prior to heading south down to Brighton.
One final night on UK soil in brighton and a quick restock of PG Tips in Sainbury's later it was time to head back to the airport and my return leg of this mammoth weekend.
Thanks to C+S (and of course respective parents) for laying on such a grand event and cheers to all the mates I miss from home. See you in Vancouver soon. Feel free to visit anytime.
Oh and Holland....... you really are a deviant !!!! I still feel shame at some of the things we were laughing about !
Several of you have asked what this 'Seabus' thing is I keep mentioning when I comment that my method of transport to work these days is somewhat more civilised than the Southern train services from Victoria.
